10 Things to Consider When Making Your Guest List
Feature Photo by Crystal Photography
Many couples are torn between who they feel obligated to invite, how many people they can afford to invite and what type of environment they want for their special day. If you’re feeling similar stresses, you’re not alone! One of the most common pieces of feedback about the wedding planning process is the stress of creating the guest list.
To help ease this stress, here are tips and considerations for determining who will be in the audience and on the dance floor on your wedding day.
1. VENUE CAPACITY
Your venue’s capacity is a non-negotiable factor — this isn’t an area you can flex. If your venue tells you its capacity is 100, please don’t assume 101 will be okay. Overcrowding can be an uncomfortable experience for everyone, not to mention the safety concerns. So when building your guest list, venue capacity is an essential starting parameter.
2. CATERING BUDGET
You’ll likely know your overall wedding budget by the time you build your guest list. So to stay on track financially, calculate your caterer’s price per head and compare that to how much of your wedding budget you’ve allotted to catering. This will give you a clear idea of how many people you can afford to host, regardless of venue capacity.
3. TIERS OF GUESTS
Divide your potential guests into tiers: “Must Have” (immediate family and close friends), “Love to Have” (extended family and acquaintances) and “If There’s Space” (coworkers and parents’ friends). Start building your guest list with the “Must Haves” and work your way down. This will help prioritize who should be on the final list and who, unfortunately, won’t make it past the chopping block.
4. CURATION IS KEY
Don’t feel obligated to invite everyone you know! This is your wedding, you’re not obligated to invite people whose RSVP response doesn’t really matter to you. Think, “Will I be sad if Jack and Jill can’t make it?” If the answer is “no” and your guest list is already tight, Jack and Jill don’t have to make the final cut.
5. ADULTS ONLY?
Early on, decide with your partner on a child policy. Part of this means considering who might be unable to attend if children are NOT invited (childcare is hard to coordinate, especially if traveling). Having an adults-only celebration is an easy way to keep your guest list slim. However, executing a child-free embargo might not be an option depending on your family dynamics. If this is the case, try setting an age limit for children in attendance; for instance, “children over age six are welcome.”
6. PARENTAL PARAMETERS
If you feel your guest list is getting too long, consider giving your parents a guest list allowance. Assign a set number of people they can invite to prevent things from getting out of hand — and ensure you don’t end up with a wedding full of strangers! If things get sticky, have an open discussion with your parents to understand their expectations and make compromises where possible.
7. PLUS-ONE
The age-old question is: Should you allow plus-ones or not? A common rule is to allow plus-ones for everyone in your wedding party, married duos, engaged folks and long-term couples. However, if you have the wiggle room in your venue capacity and budget for more attendees, allowing single friends to bring a guest is a kind gesture.
The most important rule of plus-ones is to be clear about your policy, especially on the invitation. If you’re allowing a guest to bring an unknown date, write your guest’s name and then “and guest” on their invitation.
8. USE A SPREADSHEET
Spreadsheets are your friends! Create a detailed spreadsheet to track your guest list, RSVP status and meal preferences. This will help keep everything organized and ensure no one is forgotten. Plus, it’s a great way to keep track of addresses for when you send out thank-you notes afterward.
9. SAVE-THE-DATE WITH CERTAINTY
Only send save-the-dates to people you are certain will be invited. This avoids any awkward conversations or hurt feelings later if your guest list needs to be trimmed. You can always send an official invite later, but it is much more difficult to un-extend an invitation.
10. KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON
Guest list stresses don’t have to consume your planning experience. To keep things manageable, take breaks! As your wedding plans evolve, revisit and revise the list periodically, making adjustments based on new information or changing circumstances. And don’t forget to order a few extra invitations to accommodate any last-minute additions.
Go ahead and accept that you can’t and won’t please everyone. Instead, focus on what will make you and your partner the happiest. Don’t hesitate to consult with friends, family or your wedding planner for advice and support. Sometimes an outside perspective can provide valuable clarity.
Finally, remember why you’re getting married. The most important thing is celebrating your love and commitment, not the size of the guest list.
