10 Things to Consider When Making Your Guest List

FEATURE PHOTO BY Crystal Photography

Many couples feel torn between who they want to invite, who they feel obligated to invite and what  guest count their budget can realistically support. If you’re feeling that same pressure, you’re far from alone. It is widely agreed on that guest list decisions are one of the most challenging parts of planning!

To make it all feel more manageable, here are tips and considerations for determining who will be celebrating alongside you on your wedding day.

1. VENUE CAPACITY

Your venue’s capacity is a non-negotiable factor — this is not an area where you can bend the rules. If your venue tells you its capacity is 100, please don’t assume 101 will be OK. Overcrowding can be an uncomfortable experience for everyone, not to mention the safety concerns. As you build your guest list, let the venue’s capacity serve as a clear and essential starting point.

2. CATERING BUDGET

You’ll likely know your overall wedding budget by the time you begin building your guest list. To stay on track financially, calculate your caterer’s price per head and compare it with the portion of your budget you’ve allocated for catering. This will give you a clear sense of how many guests you can comfortably host, regardless of venue capacity.

3. TIERS OF GUESTS

Divide your potential guests into tiers: “Must Have” (immediate family and close friends), “Love to Have” (extended family and acquaintances) and “If There’s Space” (coworkers and parents’ friends). Start building your list with the “Must Haves” and work your way down. This approach helps you prioritize who belongs on the final list and who, unfortunately, may not make the cut.

4. CURATION IS KEY

Don’t feel obligated to invite everyone you know. It’s your wedding, and you’re not required to invite people whose RSVP response won’t hold much meaning to you. Ask yourself, “Will I be sad if Jack and Jill can’t make it?” If the answer is no and your guest list is already tight, Jack and Jill can be left off the list without too much guilt.

5. ADULTS ONLY?

Early on, decide with your partner what your child policy will be. Part of this means considering who may be unable to attend if children aren’t invited (we all know childcare can be hard to coordinate, especially if traveling). An adults-only celebration is an easy way to keep your guest list slim, but enforcing a child-free embargo may not be possible depending on family dynamics. If that’s the case, consider setting an age guideline — for instance, “children ages 6 and older are welcome.”

6. PARENTAL PARAMETERS

If your guest list is starting to get too long, consider giving your parents a set allowance of guests they can invite. Assigning them a specific number helps keep things from getting out of hand — and ensures you don’t end up in a room full of strangers! If things get sticky, have an open conversation with your parents to understand their expectations and make compromises where possible.

7. PLUS-ONE

The age-old question remains: Should you allow plus-ones or not? A common guideline is to offer plus-ones to your wedding party, married couples, engaged pairs and long-term partners. However, if you have the wiggle room in your venue capacity and budget, extending the option to single friends can also be a thoughtful gesture.

The most important rule of plus-ones is to be clear about your policy, especially on the invitation. If you’re allowing a guest to bring an unknown date, address the invitation with your guest’s name followed by “and guest.”

8. USE A SPREADSHEET

Spreadsheets are your friends! Create a detailed spreadsheet to track your guest list, RSVP status and meal preferences. This will help keep everything organized and ensure no one is forgotten. Plus, it’s a great way to keep track of addresses for when you send out thank-you notes afterward.

9. SAVE-THE-DATE WITH CERTAINTY

Only send save-the-dates to people you are certain will be invited. This helps prevent awkward conversations or hurt feelings later if your guest list needs to be trimmed. You can always send an official invitation down the line, but it is much harder to un-extend an invite.

10. KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON

Guest list stresses don’t have to consume your planning experience. To keep things manageable, take breaks! As your wedding plans evolve, revisit and revise the list periodically, making adjustments based on new information or changing circumstances. And don’t forget to order a few extra invitations to accommodate any last-minute additions.

Go ahead and accept that you can’t — and won’t — please everyone. Instead, focus on what will make you and your partner the happiest. Don’t hesitate to consult friends, family or your wedding planner for advice and support; sometimes an outside perspective can provide the clarity you need.

Finally, remember why you’re getting married. The most important thing is celebrating your love and commitment, not the size of the guest list.