The Ins and Outs of Contracts and Deposits

By Zach Thomas

In the midst of all the fun that comes with wedding planning, a bride ought to know a thing or two about those serious contracts she’s signing on the dotted line.

Why do I have to pay a deposit to vendors like photographers, DJs, planners, etc?

To discuss a deposit, it also becomes a discussion about contracts—they go hand-in- hand. The contract spells out the agreement (date, time and rate; and what you should expect from the vendor, what the vendor should expect from you) and the deposit is the force behind that agreement. The deposit allows the vendor to be confident in turning away other potential clients for the same date, and it allows the couple to feel confident their vendor will show up and perform their hired duties the day of the wedding.

Is a standard practice of wedding vendors to require a deposit?

Yes. If the vendor you are choosing to work with doesn’t require a contract and deposit, you should be concerned about what other things they are leaving out of their business (e.g. insurance, back-up equipment, or experience). If there isn’t a contract and deposit requirement, that is a red flag. Remember, a contract and deposit also protects the customer and adds peace of mind that a vendor will show up and do the job they are hired for.

How much money should I expect to put down for my deposit?

This amount varies, but 50% is fairly standard.

What if I have to cancel?

Read over any contract you are signing, and ask the vendor you are working with to explain anything you are unclear about. Weddings don’t happen for a number of reasons—break-ups, family disagreements, weather issues, and sometimes the couple get so overwhelmed planning they run off to Vegas to elope. If you need to cancel, notify the vendor immediately and just be open to having a conversation about what your contract may entitle you to. Many contracts have the flexibility to deal with the various reasons for cancellation. Sometimes if the vendor is able to book another client with a comparable package on the same day, the deposit or a portion is refundable no matter the reason.

What if I pay a deposit and the vendor has to cancel?

You should ask for your deposit to be promptly refunded.

What type of legal wording should I look for in a vendor contract specific to deposits?

You should make sure what is and what is not refundable is clearly articulated. Some vendors who work with multiple clients in a day may allow for a partial return of deposit, within a certain period of time before the event. Most photographers can’t do that because it’s much harder to fill the date, especially the closer you get to the event.

What if I cancel, and I feel like I deserve my deposit back?

The terms should be clearly spelled out in the contract. Weddings (and planning them!) are emotional, but when dealing with vendors a customer should always keep in mind that they are working with business owners.

10 Ways to Find Your Inspiration

Before you go all Pinterest crazy and the little green monster inside of you starts to take over, we want to give you a bit of guidance to make sure that during your wedding planning process, you stay true to you. We know on a regular basis we are plagued with an overwhelming urge to keep up with the Joneses and it can be especially difficult to fend off that urge when it comes to your wedding. Here, we’ve compiled some basic tips to help you identify your true style as a couple and arm you with the know-how you’ll need to pull it all together.

  1. BE TRUE TO YOU
    Ultimately, you know deep down inside what’s truly important to you. Just know this: your wedding is the first big event you will host together as a couple so it’s the first time to let your personalities truly shine in front of friends and family. Whatever your source of inspiration, make decisions that feel right to you, not what you’ve seen other couples do.
  2. PASSION
    Everyone has a hobby, activity, cause or pledge they fully support and this may be just the place to draw inspiration from. Show off your priorities in life to your guests by finding inspiration from what your true passions are.
  3. LOCATION
    Your venue will have a great deal of impact on the environment of your wedding. If you opt for a barn, you’ll likely want to go for a more rustic feel. Or, if you book the most prestigious hotel in town, a glamorous wedding for you it is! Don’t overlook your biggest expense in the wedding as a possible source for your overall theme too.
  4. TIME OF THE DAY
    Are you a morning person or night owl? Whatever your preference, the time of day you ultimately choose to host your wedding ceremony and reception will affect the feel of the event. If you and your fiance are up and at ’em each day with a morning coffee, a brunch wedding just might be the thing for you. The possibilities are endless!
  5. MUSE
    Inspiration abounds from a myriad of places and a muse might be just the thing you center your wedding style around. Your favorite movie, color, flower, character, season or destination. Pick something near and dear to you and let it guide all of your style decisions.
  6. SCALE
    When you put together your guest list you’ll either be looking at a large event or intimate gathering. The amount of people you choose to invite will affect the environment so when looking for sources of inspiration, remember how big or intimate the event will feel with the amount of friends and family in attendance and work off of that.
  7. JOINT INTERESTS
    Do you and the future hubs have a common interest that brought you together? Flying, skydiving, traveling or food? Whatever it is you spend your free time doing, consider letting it be the source of your wedding style. Golf anyone?
  8. FORMALITY
    If you’re a Great Gatsby girl at heart, a formal setting just might be the style for you. But, if a laid back casual setting is for you, so be it. Consider your personal preferences on dressing down or up when identifying the style wedding you want.
  9. HERITAGE & HISTORY
    Do you hail from a great land afar or find yourself among a long lineage of great folks? Then let your family history and heritage guide the style of your wedding and enjoy reminiscing with your parents and loved ones about your roots.
  10. CONSIDER THE SEASON
    The time of the year could greatly affect the overall style of your wedding. Temperature and foliage are great places to find inspiration and build your wedding style around.

WEDDING PLANNING DO’S & DON’TS

  • Do…be considerate of family traditions and wants but don’t feel chained to them.
  • Do..be authentic to YOUR true style.
  • Do..Create a budget, fine tune it and stick to it.
  • Do..Edit. Edit. Edit. Start with a big picture and bring it into focus from there.
  • Do…Manage the guest list… Don’t feel obligated to invite everyone. This will help your budget too.
  • Don’t…spend too much energy focusing on what others are doing.
  • Don’t…let the party details outshine the magic of your marriage.
  • Don’t…skimp on wedding vendors. Trust us… you get what you pay for.
  • Don’t…sweat the small stuff.

Find more wedding planning advice here.

Building the Perfect Wedding Cake

By Terry Smedley

Whether you prefer a towering six-tier confection or a simplistic couple’s cake, choose the dessert that’s best for your day.

Should I steer clear of any frostings or finishes if I’m hosting an outdoor reception?

If you are having an outdoor reception during the hot months, try to steer clear of buttercreams that contain ingredients that can’t take the heat like cream cheese.

What’s the key to making a naked-style cake wedding worthy?

Most people who select naked cakes do so not because of the look of the cake (although most do love the simplicity), but because they aren’t a fan of frosting. They love that they can have more cake, less frosting and with the addition of floral or some decorative elements have a beautiful cake that tastes good.

My future husband and I aren’t really fans of cake. Do we still need to have one? What are my other options?

Oh heavens no, there are no hard and fast rules! Dessert buffets are hot right now. They are a fabulous alternative to cake or to supplement cake for your guests. The benefit of a dessert buffet is your guests get a variety of choices for their desserts, and can be designed to coordinate with and complement your reception.

What information should I have ready for our cake consultations?

Do your homework! Before you book a consultation, ensure the company provides the type of cake you are looking for. A baker may specialize in old fashioned cakes or naked cakes, so don’t ask them to create a cake style they don’t generally offer. Be prepared to leave a photo of your inspiration cake with the baker after your consultation.

Cake toppers: are they a thing of the past?

Cake toppers are making a comeback, but not necessarily the traditional bride and groom. More often you may see custom laser cut toppers that express the sentiments of the couple, such as “To the Moon and Back” or “Mr. and Mrs.” or clever custom cake toppers showcasing the couple and their interests.

I love the look of real flowers on a cake. Are they really safe to include?

Many flowers are in fact edible. Check with your florist to ensure that whatever they are providing for your cake is safe and organic. While all flowers are a treat to see, some ought to come with a warning label. The most common poisonous wedding flowers include lily of the valley, hydrangeas, stargazer lilies, angels trumpet, oleander and delphinium. If your preferred florals appear on this list, fret not. Consider adding faux tiers to the cake. These tiers blend with the design of the rest of the cake, often covered in identical fondant or completely in flowers.

What are the hot trends?

We’re seeing personalization of cakes. Taking on themes from hot TV shows, to sports teams and comic book heroes. Flavor pairings are also trending. Creative options include Nutella, tequila and lime, orange and champagne, peaches and cream, caramel apple and almond amaretto just to name a few.

Modern Guide to Gratuities

By Meghan Bishop

If there’s one gray area in the wedding world, it’s paying gratuities. Long-standing etiquette says ones thing and modern trend says another. We say: if you loved your service—show it with a tip.

Whether your vendor owns their business or is an hourly employee matters little. Gratuity says “I’m so thankful for the extra care you showed to me,” and giving shouldn’t be determined by who the boss is. It’s determined by the quality of service. Here’s a list of the vendors you should plan to tip because of their onsite expertise at the end of your very long, very fabulous big day.

WEDDING PLANNER

Traditionally, it has been thought that you don’t need to give your wedding planner anything for a tip. But, considering they’re the one vendor who has done the bulk of the work on your wedding—we say, why not? Did he/she knock your socks off by pulling off your wedding flawlessly? Was there a ton of extra work involved that wasn’t discussed when pricing was set? Whatever the case may be, you can feel comfortable giving between $100 to 10% of their fees in cash or a gift in the same amount to show your gratitude.

TIP: $100 to 10% of fees

PHOTOGRAPHERS & VIDEOGRAPHERS

In our opinion, your photographer and videographer will be the most important vendors you choose. Each photographer on the day of your wedding should be tipped $100- 200, and second shooters $50-75.

TIP: $50-200 per person

CEREMONY MUSICIANS

Not sure what to give the string trio that played your wedding march? What about the choir that sang as you lit your unity candle? If it was a professional group, 10% of the entire amount charged to be split amongst the musicians. If it’s a civic or church group and they didn’t charge, give a donation either to the group or the church—just as you would a religious officiant.

TIP: 10% of fee to be split among musicians

RECEPTION MUSICIANS OR DJ

Every guest was on the dance floor and your party was non-stop all night! You should tip $25-50, per musician. For the DJ—he/she is the one person responsible for the entire flow and energy of your event. We think they deserve a whole lotta love for guaranteeing a good time. MUSICIAN TIP: $25-50 per person

DJ TIP: $100-200

OFFICIANT

Your dad’s friend is a judge, your neighbor got registered online, your junior high school pastor, or your pastor now that you are an adult has accepted the job of conducting your service— etiquette says no cash should be given. Instead, give a thank you card and a gift card or a donation to the house of worship if affiliated.

TIP: A donation and thank you note will do.

CATERING STAFF

This varies depending on the region of the country you are in. In the Midwest, a 20 to 22% service charge is usually added to the catering contract. But if you are super happy with the service, you can give the catering manager a lump sum to distribute among the wait staff. You can get the anticipated number of wait staff from the caterer beforehand to help you prepare.

TIP: $20-50 per person (and check your contract)

BARTENDER

Your bartender will deal with a bunch of guest craziness the evening of your wedding (i.e. “There is tooooooo much coke in my Jack”). Bartenders who work on a catering staff team make a higher hourly wage than what you’d expect in a restaurant so you can tip them the same as the other catering staff. No need to go above and beyond, unless you really want to.

TIP: $20-50 like the other catering event staff

DRIVER TIP

Your driver will wait outside for 30 minutes as you say your goodbyes to your friends and family and make sure your take-away plate is in the car for your midnight snack before he drives clear across town to your desired place! Proper tip is 15-20% presented after arrival.

TIP: 15-20% of fees

RENTAL STAFF TIP

This one is optional. Rental drop off delivery people sometimes get $20-50 per person depending on how much they are bringing in and having to set up. Most of the time you have a team of 2-4 depending on the size of the order and they will be the last ones out of the space at the end of the night.

TIP: $20-50 per person

HAIR STYLIST & MAKEUP ARTIST

As important as pictures are, your hair and makeup professional will help ensure you look the best! Hair and make-up professionals should get 15-20% of the total bill.

TIP: 15-20% of services

THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN TIPPING…

Some vendors may have gratuity included in their contract–if this is the case, no tip is necessary. Read your contract to be certain. Also, if a vendor does not fulfill what was expected, don’t feel obligated. And if you want to reward a vendor that you didn’t get a chance to see or interact with, don’t underestimate the power of a sincere thank you card with a little token of your appreciation inside. Tipping is something you should be prepared to do (a lot of) on your wedding day.

The caliber of the professionals you hire will determine the amount of tips you should budget for.

Start the Conversation with Your Budget

By Leah Economos

Many brides are surprised that most vendors insist on knowing their budget before providing a detailed proposal. Truth is, this saves you both time and prevents miscommunication, sticker shock and getting attached to an idea you just can’t afford.

Why Share Your Budget?

Because you’re a busy bride with limited spare time, you’ll want this process to be as efficient as possible. Also, the vendors you’re interviewing respect your time and aim to make the proposal process as simple and straightforward as possible. With knowledge of your budget, each vendor will be able to provide a proposal in the price range you have specified.

The Dangers of a Proposal that’s Above Your Budget

A proposal with no budget guideline has several dangers. The first one is sticker shock. Many brides are truly shocked by the cost of wedding elements. Being surprised by your proposal price is not only unpleasant, but it may cause you to eliminate a wedding vendor from consideration who is truly capable of supplying a fantastic alternative for half the price—they just had no idea how much you wanted to spend!

Beyond the sticker shock, there’s another danger: attachment! You’re likely to become attached to all of the beautiful options conjured up in that initial proposal—and they’re way out of your price range. This will only create disappointment down the road as you find it impossible to be satisfied with more budget friendly alternatives.

Your style, taste, and personal preferences are equally as important as your budget. But, if you start out with a proposal that’s above your budget, trimming it down will be the only solution. That will mean parting with some elements you may love, and it also will delay arriving at your “budget happy place” while your salesperson revises your proposal. To avoid this dilemma, simply share your budget with vendors in your first conversation.

Finding a Fit

There’s a possibility that your vision and budget aren’t a match for a particular vendor, and that’s okay! If they aren’t able to offer the service or product you’re looking for within the amount you’re willing to pay, don’t be shy about telling them your budget is firm and you’ll have to look elsewhere.

If you consult several reputable vendors and continue to hear your vision can’t be accomplished within the amount you want to pay, it’s probably an indication your budget
isn’t reasonable. Consider shifting money from another category within your overall budget, or open your mind to more budget friendly options that still allow you to have a great event.

Great vendors will do their best to offer an alternative to suit your budget, whether it’s a fabulous short rib small plate station instead of filet mignon, or ranunculus for your bouquet instead of peonies.

Take Steps in the Right Direction

Occasionally, brides can get stuck in what is referred to as ‘proposal la-la land.’ This is what happens when you continue to swoon over Pinterest pictures and celebrity weddings featuring ideas far outside your budget range. Remember, the goal is to arrive at a proposal you’re happy with and can afford.

Trusting Your Vendors

Some couples say they don’t feel comfortable sharing their actual budget with vendors they’re interviewing, for fear that they will
“use up all the money,” and I want to offer some insight on that topic. Any vendor you’re considering hiring should make you feel comfortable and cared for as a customer. If at any point you feel pressured in a used-car- salesman-fashion, you’re in the wrong place.

When it comes to budget, remember: you’re in charge. Your florist or caterer isn’t going to reach into your wallet and take your money. When you agree on a price, make sure you’re comfortable with the amount you’re spending.

Bottom Line

You’ll make your planning process easier, avoid disappointment and sticker shock and develop a great relationship with your vendor team by sharing your budget from the beginning.

Budget Breakdown

In Chicago, the average cost of a 150-person wedding is approximately $42,000 with downtown weddings costing more ($51,000) and suburban weddings costing less ($33,000). When you start planning your wedding, one of the very first things you’ll need to create is a budget. The most helpful approach for you, your partner, and your respective families will be to openly discuss how much everyone will be able to contribute. Today, it is not uncommon for the bride and groom to foot the entire bill, or for the families to share the expenses. When discussing your expenses with your loved ones, be sure to remain courteous and realistic.

  • RECEPTIONS: 40-45% (Reception venue, food, beverages & rentals)
  • PHOTO & VIDEO: 10-20% (Photo & video)
  • ATTIRE & WEDDING BANDS: 8-12%  (Bride and groom attire & wedding bands)
  • FLOWERS: 8-12% (Flowers & décor)
  • MUSIC: 5-10% (Ceremony & reception music)
  • PLANNING: 0-10% (Planner or coordinator)
  • CAKES: 3-6% (Cakes & sweet tables)
  • OVER SPEND: 5% (Overspend Fund)
  • CEREMONY: 2-4% (Ceremony)
  • INVITES: 3-6% (Stationery)
  • TRANSPORTATION AND GIFTS: .2-4% (Gifts & transportation)
  • BEAUTY: 2-3% (Hair, makeup & pampering)

Find more wedding planning advice here.

Wedding Venue Review

So, exactly what type of occasion do you envision for your upcoming wedding? Knowing this will ease your venue search because the setting affects the overall style tremendously. From country clubs to hotels, city clubs, resorts, barns, private mansions and everything in between… you’ve got options.

 

QUESTIONS TO ASK A POTENTIAL VENUE

HOW MANY HOURS DOES MY RENTAL FEE INCLUDE? ARE THERE OVERTIME CHARGES?

Some venues charge by the hour for their facility. Know exactly what is included, and allow plenty of time for set up and tear down.

HOW DO YOU CHARGE? PER PERSON, BY THE HOUR OR FLAT FEE?

It’s always good to know how your venue charges for rental. It’s likely facilities that include catering will charge a per person rate and venues without catering will charge a flat fee or hourly rental.

CAN I BRING IN MY OWN VENDORS OR DO I HAVE TO USE A PREFERRED VENDOR LIST SUPPLIED BY THE VENUE?

Many venues will supply you with a list of their preferred vendors to use. This can be helpful to the bride who needs direction but also a hindrance for brides who know exactly who they’d like to use. Clarify with your venue if it’s required or not to use their vendors before you book.

CAN I BRING IN MY OWN ALCOHOL?

Venues that don’t carry their own liquor license may allow brides to bring in their own alcohol. This is not typically the norm, but there are a few venues out there with this option. Remember, if you do opt to bring in your own alcohol, you’ll want to hire a bar service to tend to guests.

IF NOT, IS THERE AN ALCOHOL MINIMUM?

Often venues with liquor licenses will have a bar minimum in addition to the cost of their venue rental.

HOW MANY PEOPLE WILL THE SPACE HOLD (NOT JUST OFFICIAL CAPACITY) ACCORDING TO MY ROOM SET UP?

Your room set up will greatly affect the amount of guests you can have at your wedding. You’ll want to focus on how many guests you can fit into the room with a seated dinner, estate table, dance floor or buffet set up.

WHAT IS INCLUDED IN THE VENUE RENTAL?

Most venues have items that are included in the cost of their rental like dance floors, tables, chairs, standard linens, etc. But, there are several venues that don’t offer this and could result in an additional cost to you.

WHAT IS THE PARKING SITUATION?

Valet parking, limited options, street parking or ample complimentary parking for guests are all important things to consider.

WILL THERE BE OTHER WEDDINGS ON THE SAME DAY?

Ask whether your event will be the only one happening on property or if there will be others. Other events may infringe on your time use of the venue or create confusion for guests so best to be prepared.

HOW MUCH ARE TAX AND GRATUITY? ARE THEY INCLUDED IN THE PACKAGE PRICES?

Taxes and gratuity can vary greatly. Some venues include both in their package prices while others add it on. Be sure to consider this when you are planning, as it can be an extra 30% or more.

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How to Organize a Wedding Reception

By Anne Morrissy

Planning your wedding reception can be overwhelming, so we talked to Sarah Rodriguez, wedding/event planner and owner of Chicago-based Sarah Kathleen Events, for her advice for the best way to schedule a wedding reception.

1. GUESTS ARRIVE.

Rodriguez says most couples are forgoing a traditional receiving line in favor of greeting guests at their tables during dinner. Upon arrival, guests enter a cocktail reception.

A card and gift table, sometimes identified with a small, tasteful sign, should be set up close to the entrance. The guest book can be placed nearby.

2. THE GRAND ENTRANCE.

The latest wedding trends involve getting creative with the bride and groom’s entrance to the reception. “Many couples opt for dances or some other fun theme,” Rodriguez explains. Often, the parents of the bride and groom will be introduced first. Next comes the bridal party, and finally the couple makes their grand entrance and takes their place at the head table.

3. CUTTING OF THE CAKE.

While it may seem counterintuitive to cut the cake so early in the night, Rodriguez says the benefit is twofold – first, you are able
to capitalize on having the attention of the whole room following the grand entrance. Secondly, performing this tradition early allows the caterers to cut and plate all of the cake in time for it to be served as dessert. (For couples who opt for a small “cutting cake” but serve guests from a sheet cake instead, the cutting of the cake may still take place after dinner.)

4. THE TOASTS.

Again taking advantage of the benefit of the guests’ attention, the wedding toasts make a natural transition from the cutting of the cake. The number of toasts is up to the couple but may include the parents of the bride, the parents of the groom, the best man and/or the maid of honor. Rodriguez points out that scheduling the toasts prior to dinner is especially effective at weddings that opt for a dinner buffet or food stations, as this is the last time you can be assured that all of your guests will be in their seats at once.

5. DINNER IS SERVED.

For a multi-course, plated dinner, the logistics should be left to the catering company. However, for buffets and food station-style dinners, couples may be involved in deciding the order in which tables should be dismissed, to avoid long lines and allow the caterers sufficient time to restock as needed.

6. TIME TO DANCE.

After dinner is cleared, the couple may wish to say a short thank-you toast before transitioning to the dancing portion of the evening. This is also when a bouquet or garter toss may happen, though Rodriguez says many couples are replacing that tradition with an “anniversary dance” that invites all of the married couples to the dance floor, ultimately presenting the bouquet to the couple that’s been married the longest.

7. LATE-NIGHT SNACK.

Many couples choose to offer a late-night snack served toward the end of the evening. This often takes the form of a fun food with meaning to the couple. The late-night snack can be set out on a display table or may take the form of a food truck parked outside the reception.

8. THE GRAND EXIT.

Rodriguez says that some event planners will stage a grand exit photo in the middle of the dancing to ensure that all of the guests are there to participate. However, she recommends that the grand exit (which may include sparklers, glow sticks, paper airplanes or other fun props) be saved to the end of the dancing as a way to put a final cap on the night and encourage guests to make their exit from the venue.

Rodriguez points out that the most important thing to remember at the wedding reception is to have fun, and enjoy the company of the friends and loved ones who have come together to help you celebrate. If you’ve done your planning and hired good people, the details should take care of themselves.

ADD SOME EXTRA TOUCHES:

Many cultures have special traditions that take place during a wedding reception, from the guests pinning money to the bride’s dress at a Polish wedding to dancing the Hora at a traditional Jewish wedding. Adding these cultural traditions can personalize the reception.

Wedding Gown Buying Guide

By Anne Morrissy

Whether you dream of a huge, elaborate celebration or an intimate, thoughtful gathering, the perfect gown is a vital element of every wedding. Here are a few tips to help you get the most out of gown shopping:

Plan it out. Before you dive in to shopping for a wedding gown, make a list of things to consider, including: the location/season of the wedding (will you be outdoors? will you be in a very conservative church? etc.); your maximum budget for a dress (including alterations and headpiece); the shades or colors you prefer; and the shapes or styles you gravitate toward (though be flexible on these last two points!). Also choose who you will take with you to the salon appointments – many brides find it’s best to invite 1-3 trusted friends or family members who will give honest, gentle feedback.

Research bridal salons and make a few appointments. Smaller local bridal salons will offer a more genuine, personalized experience and are often willing to work with you on price, but their gown selection can be light. Larger bridal salons may carry a wider range of sizes and a larger selection but their sales staff are more likely to work on commission so you may experience a more high-pressure sales environment. It’s best to make appointments at multiple salons to see the full range of gown options. At each salon, be honest about your budget and resist the urge to try gowns that are vastly outside of that range.

Listen to the salon staff. While it is helpful to go in with a general idea of what you’re looking for, remember that the salon sales staff are experts and see hundreds or even thousands of women every year. Many brides find that the styles they go in coveting don’t suit them for one reason or another, and they often end up preferring the options the salon staff hand-selects for them instead. Similarly, because sizing of wedding gowns is so erratic, salon staff will have the best knowledge of which sizes to try.

Choose wisely. In a one-hour salon appointment, brides will typically try 8-13 gowns. At each salon you visit, ask if you can take reference photos to help you remember each design. Once you have seen a sufficient number of gowns, narrow the options down to your favorite 3-5 and make your choice from these. Be honest about your preferences, and don’t let anyone pressure you into buying a gown you don’t love.

Order your gown. Once you’ve found the gown of your dreams, don’t wait too long to order. While it’s possible the bridal salon may have the gown in stock in your size, it’s much more likely that they will be placing the order with the manufacturer, which can be a slow process. As a result, it’s best to order your wedding gown six to 12 months before you plan to get married.

Plan your alterations. Before ordering your gown, make sure to ask the salon about the price and process of alteration once the dress arrives. Alterations generally run from $300 to $600 and should be factored in to the overall budget. In addition to general fit accommodations, alterations also include the gown’s bustle, which can be quite complicated depending on the design. Alteration appointments generally begin about four months before the wedding – expect to attend 1-3 fittings before the gown is finished.

Start the search for your perfect gown now.

Wedding Planning with a Positive Mindset

You just got engaged and there are so many things to consider: choosing a date, establishing a budget, building your wedding website, researching wedding venues, and checking your mindset. Checking your mindset? That’s right! Licensed Clinical Social Worker Pamela Rak is sharing her professional advice all about building a positive mindset during the wedding planning season and beyond.

(Photo credit: TWA Photographic Artists)

Our mindset is our belief about whether or not we are able to achieve our fullest potential. And our mindsets are incredibly important (maybe even more important than our wedding itself!) as we prepare to get married. Developing a growth-based mindset that believes in possibility helps us to be our best for ourselves, increases our effectiveness in relationships, and manages our expectations and assumptions (which can contribute to destructive habits).

Last year, our son, Nick, asked his girlfriend, Emily, to marry him. Nick and Emily wanted their wedding to be a true representation of who they are. I wanted to honor their vision, intention, and preferences for their special day. We all know the old adages about mothers-in-law, so I adopted a positive mindset from the beginning. I decided I would be supportive, encouraging, and curious. I would offer traditions as ideas but not mandates and be available but not intrusive. After the wedding, I wanted to be able to be proud of the way I conducted myself and I wanted them to feel like they had the wedding they wanted, with pleasant memories to carry forever.

Adopting a positive mindset isn’t as difficult as you might think, but it doesn’t often come naturally. Below I’ve compiled 5 ways you can start improving your mindset as you step into the somewhat stressful season of wedding planning. Your positive mindset will serve you well as you plan, and even better as you navigate life as a newlywed.

1. Pay attention to your self-talk.

Eliminate words like can’t, never, always and should. These words tend to keep us fixed in our thoughts. Instead say: “I’ll try,” “Let me give that some thought,” or “I’m willing to consider.” Choosing more positive, open minded words will increase your willingness to actually be open minded.

2. Be patient with yourself.

Anything that requires change will take time and effort. Process, learn, and correct self-defeating habits as they pop up. You won’t be able to completely change your mindset overnight. Celebrate your effort, perseverance and improvement!

3. Include imagery into your tool box of coping and problem solving strategies.

Imagine ways you can create the wedding you want, even if something isn’t exactly as you first thought it would be. Look for possibilities and find silver linings wherever possible. Dream about the way you’ll feel at the end of the night. The specific shade of your linens probably won’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

4. Share your ideas and feelings.

A wedding is an event, but a marriage is a lifestyle. Start practicing your communication and ability to calmly share your feelings with your partner now.

5. Create a vision board.

It’s easier to get the results you want if you know what you’re truly looking for. Decide with your partner what the top priorities for your wedding are and focus on those few things. Be willing to let small details slide.

6. Work with a therapist.

Learning helpful strategies and tools for communicating and decision making is important long past your wedding day. Consider including a therapist to help you navigate your expectations and disagreements during your engagement and well beyond into your marriage. Post-wedding blues are a very real challenge, and a therapist can help you work through those and all the challenges of newly married life.

Pamela Rak is a LCSW with over 32 years providing mental and behavioral health counseling. Her clinical approach is goal-oriented, collaborative, pragmatic, supportive, and, based upon strategies that follow best practice research methods. For more information on working with Pamela, please visit her website or contact her via email.

 

Jenny by Jenny Yoo – Spring 2020 Collection

Jenny Yoo spring 2019

Take a look at every stunning piece in the Jenny by Jenny Yoo Spring 2020 collection.

The Jenny by Jenny Yoo collection exudes a fresh and vibrant charm that is feminine and alluring. Modern and daring 3D floral applique is embroidered upon mixed-media aprisings of voluminous taffeta, lofty organza, and delicately sparkled tulle. Texture is further showcased in sculpted crepe, soft pleated tulle and playful fringe embroidered cap sleeves. The Spring collection introduces a capsule of light-weight and brilliant veils to perfectly compliment bridal styles. Appealing to the spirited and youthful BHLDN bride, Jenny designs four exclusive and refreshing gown that are crafted to perfection. Characterized by contoured silhouettes and plunging V-necklines the Jenny by Jenny Yoo collection tells a contemporary story of the light-hearted and sultry bride.

All photos by Kat Alvarez. See more from Jenny Yoo here.

Annalise

Bennet

Channing

Cordelia

Easton

Ellison

Frances

Gabriel Veil

Gretchen

Miranda

Natalie

Tegan

Try on your perfect gown at one of our favorite local bridal boutiques, click here.

With This Ring

The Ultimate Guide to Choosing the Perfect Wedding Bands

When it comes to choosing the right wedding bands for your Big Day, you’ve got options is an understatement. Save yourself and your partner some time and take the guesswork out of choosing which wedding bands are right for you by familiarizing yourself with these guidelines.

Plan It Out

Planning ahead is key. If you are purchasing wedding bands separate from your engagement ring, start shopping two to three months before your wedding day. Browse for wedding bands in person and online, compare prices and revisit any rings that you like. If you are looking for a custom ring, you may need even more time – keep in mind that even small details like engraving can take up to one month. If you want your wedding band to match your engagement ring, you and your fiancé can purchase your engagement ring and wedding band as a duo set or even have his wedding band match to form a trio set. No matter what you decide, it is important to give yourself enough time to find or create the ring you have in mind.

Once you have established a personal timeframe, set a budget. The average wedding band costs around $600, but there are more cost-effective options if you are looking for more economical options. Plenty of wedding bands are available for under $100. More importantly, you are going to wear this band every day, so it is important to choose a wedding band
that will easily integrate into your lifestyle.

Know Your Basic Options

Wedding bands come in many styles and you have likely heard of the most common types — yellow gold, white gold, rose gold, silver and titanium. But more than anything else, thinking longterm about your budget and how you’ll wear your ring day-to-day will help you determine the right metal for your wedding band.

Pure Gold: Pure or 24 karat gold is a very soft metal that is more likely to scratch and bend, making it a rare find. More practical and common gold choices include yellow, white and rose.

Yellow Gold: The most common and traditional type of gold, yellow gold, is a mixture of pure gold with silver, copper and zinc. It is the purest color of gold and the most hypoallergenic. It requires the least maintenance, which makes it the easiest and the most practical to wear and repair. However, it is also the most expensive type of gold.

White Gold: White gold is usually made out of gold and platinum or gold, platinum, nickel and zinc, which gives it its glistening white color. White gold is usually plated with rhodium, to give it a hard reflective surface, but it will require replacement plating once signs of wear and tear begin to appear. White gold is more durable and scratch-resistant than yellow gold, and it’s also more affordable.

Rose Gold: Rose gold contains silver and copper to give it its trademark warm pinkish hue. Its inexpensive copper mix also makes it cheaper and more durable than yellow or white gold.

Silver: If you’re looking to go more traditional, a sterling silver wedding band will always be in style. On the other hand, for a more durable option that won’t tarnish, consider an Argentium silver ring due to its higher percentage of silver. Even though it is much harder than sterling silver, Argentium is more malleable, lending itself well to a variety of designs and settings for gemstones.

Platinum: Of the white metals in this list, platinum is the most luxurious option to show your enduring love, due to its rarity. The metal is also a great choice for people with sensitive skin because platinum is naturally hypoallergenic. Platinum rings have high-shine and are exceptionally durable, making it a great choice for couples who have a higher
budget but still want a timeless ring that is practical for long term wear.

Palladium: Palladium is another metal that works for people with sensitive skin. It is more common than platinum and friendlier to couples on a budget. The metal is prized for its bright, natural white color. Unlike silver, palladium is not prone to tarnishing, making it a popular alternative.

Titanium: Strong, lightweight and unique, titanium rings will endure the test of time and are a popular metal choice for men. Titanium is much more durable than gold or platinum and even stronger than stainless steel. Titanium wedding rings appear whiter than tungsten, but darker than cobalt, platinum or white gold. The metal does not contain any nickel, making it the perfect choice for a hypoallergenic wedding ring. Keep in mind – this metal cannot be resized, so it is best for couples who don’t plan on upgrading their rings in the future.

Tungsten: Another metal choice for men, tungsten is harder than precious metals like gold and platinum and is perfect for those who are looking for a ring that is durable and far from dainty. Not only is the rare metal distinctive – its steel gray, white or black color comes with high luster – tungsten can stand up to the wear and tear of an active lifestyle without losing its shape over time. However, just like titanium, tungsten can’t be resized. It also comes with a lower price tag than traditional gold bands and other jewelry metals like silver and platinum.

Cobalt: This durable, scratch-resistant metal is another option for men. Cobalt is usually mixed with chrome to form a strong bond that also alters cobalt’s signature deep blue color into a stunning white one. As far as platinum and white gold rings go, cobalt rings are an affordable option for white jewelry. They are even whiter than titanium and offer better scratch resistance. Plus, cobalt does not require rhodium plating to keep its color. It is also free of nickel, making it hypoallergenic and perfect for those who experience sensitivity to traditional jewelry material.

Add a Little Bling

If you decide to spring for stones in your wedding band, the choice will ultimately come down to budget, style and personal taste. White diamonds are the most popular choice, but you can also opt for colored diamonds or gemstones to complement your ring. All of the metals above are well suited for stone embellishments.

Popular wedding band styles for women include the eternity band, which features stones that wrap completely around the finger allowing the band to sparkle from every angle, and the channel band, which has two tracks of metal that hold a row of stones side-by-side. By far, the most popular male wedding band style with a stone is the gypsy band, where most commonly a solitary stone is placed into a hole and flushed with the surrounding metal’s surface.

Protect Your Ring

Your wedding band will likely be one of your most valuable possessions, so ring insurance is essential to making sure it is protected for a lifetime. Consider both its sentimental and monetary value and then opt to add a rider to your homeowner’s or renter’s insurance to provide higher coverage limits to your jewelry and protect it from greater risks. Make sure to talk with your jeweler first to see what options they offer. If they don’t have the option you would prefer, another alternative is to take out a separate policy with a specialty insurer like Jewelers Mutual. On average, the yearly cost to insure a ring is around $1 to $2 for every $100 that it would cost to replace, so that means that if your wedding band costs $2,000, you’ll be looking at around a $40 fee. Before you purchase insurance, you will first need to collect your receipt and have the ring appraised by a certified jeweler to get a description of details like its metal and embellishments. Taking a few high-quality photos of your ring from different angles to submit is also a good idea. Getting your ring laser inscribed and investing in a home security system can help you qualify for a discount on your jewelry insurance. Additionally, before settling on a policy, become familiar with the fine print as some policies may cover theft but not misplacement or repairs.

Keep It Sparkly Clean

To maintain your ring, clean it often to remove lotions, oil and dirt, which can tarnish and cloud it. If you don’t have a brand-name jewelry cleaner, you can soak the ring in warm water and mild dishwashing liquid before scrubbing it with a soft toothbrush. You can also soak your ring in equal parts ammonia and cold water for 30 minutes then let it air dry. Note that this latter method works only with diamonds and can damage other types of stones.

It is also smart to take off your ring for tasks that require harsh chemicals or abrasive solutions (like the ones in household cleaners). These chemicals can erode metal settings and dull their finish. Ring maintenance should also include bi-annual visits to your jeweler, who can check the prongs on your setting to make sure they aren’t getting loose, which can lead to a dislodged stone.

A little extra caution goes a long way when storing your wedding bands. When you need to take off your ring, place it in a dry and secure location. If you take off your ring often, consider a safe or an unusual but memorable hiding spot. If you need to take it off when you’re on vacation, store it in the hotel safe. Lastly, it is worth remembering that diamonds are the hardest substance on earth, which means that they can scratch other gemstones, metal bands and even other diamonds if left in the same jewelry pouch or box. For that reason, keep your ring in an individual soft cloth pouch or box when you’re not wearing it.

Remember What Is Important

When all is said and done, your wedding band will be more than a symbol to the world that you are married now – it is a testament to the love and commitment you and your partner share. And with the right amount of time, a set budget and the knowledge of basic wedding band options and care, there is no doubt that keeping in mind the reason you are searching for a wedding band in the first place will lead you to a ring that will represent that promise for a lifetime.

Written by Nesa Mangal

Browse area jewelers here.

4 Ways to Include Your Dog in Your Wedding

Trying to decide how to include your furry best friend in your Big Day? We’ve got some fabulous tips for you from the dog lovers at Grounds & Hounds Coffee Co.

(photo credit: Rachael Schirano Photography)

1. Find the perfect outfit.

Some pups love to sport a full costume, like a tuxedo or tulle skirt. If you know your dog enjoys a good outfit, go all out! Other pooches may be more uncomfortable with clothing, so a simple bowtie or corsage on their collar would be a better choice. Choose an outfit or accessory that complements your overall wedding décor and matches your dog’s personality.

2. Know your pup.

If your dog loves being the center of attention and is calm around crowds, you may consider including them in your processional as a ring bearer, flower girl, or attendant. However, if your pup prefers a quieter environment, you may want to take photos with them before the event begins and let them go home before the party gets started.

(photo credit: Rachael Schirano Photography)

(photo credit: Kenzie Leigh Photography)

3. Hire some paw patrol.

You won’t have time to manage your dog on your wedding day, and you don’t want to worry about keeping track of their every move. Hire someone to be in charge of your dog so you can rest assured that someone else is managing bathroom breaks, treats and behavior.

4. Let everyone know your dog will be attending.

It may be surprising to dog lovers, but not everyone is as excited about furry friends. You should let all your guests know that your pup will be attending your wedding. Make sure your photographer and other vendors know what to expect in regards to your dog’s participation.

Ready to start planning your own Big Day? Check out our expert advice, stunning real weddings, and follow us on Pinterest for the ultimate inspiration. For more ideas on how to incorporate your furry friend on your Big Day and support other dogs who need a loving home, visit Grounds & Hounds Coffee Co.

5 Unique Summer Color Palettes

Summer means sunshine, rooftop drinks and plenty of wedding planning! We’ve curated some of our favorite summer color palettes below. Scroll through for a full dose of summer wedding inspiration.

Summer weddings can feature bright, vibrant tones, but don’t feel like you are limited to these hues. We love the elegant vibes and understated style you’ll find in some of the palettes below. Look through to find the perfect summer color scheme for your Big Day!

1. Hint of Mint

Keep things refined and elegant with a neutral palette accented with mint, dusty blue and gold.

(photography: Kenzie Leigh Photography)

2. Flirty Florals

Incorporate your love of all things floral throughout your color scheme and even in your formalwear. Get color inspiration from your favorite florals!

(photography: Danielle Henson Photography; planner: Bethany Moore Events; floral: Andrew’s Garden; suit: Menguin)

3. Something Bold, Something Blue

Make a statement with the dark blue and mustard yellow of this color scheme. Bring in different soft shades of blush for a nice contrast to the bold featured colors.

(photography: Juancho SC Photography; planner: LOLA Event Productions; floral: Yanni Design Studio)

4. Pretty in Purple

Purple comes in so many complementary shades, you can easily mix and match within the same color family to create a romantic look.

(photography: GReyes Photography; planner: Bethany Moore Events; floral: Flowers by Steen Productions)

5. Pop of Pink

Hot pink makes a stylish statement when paired with softer shades of pink and green.

(stationery: EJD Design)

Ready to start planning your own Big Day? Check out our expert advice, stunning real weddings, and follow us on Pinterest for the ultimate inspiration.  

5 Outdated Wedding Traditions and What To Do Instead

This post is sponsored by Clean Origin.

Whether you’re newly engaged or you can feel the ‘big question’ is about to be popped, you’re likely already thinking about what you’ll wear, where you’ll get married, and maybe even what you’ll say when you promise forever. But, you’re also probably starting to consider some of the outdated wedding traditions that can make the lead-up to your big day, a big headache. Don’t feel like you’re alone. You’d think that by 2019 most of these traditions would be done away with, but change takes time. So, be one of the first to mix things up and do these five things instead.

Pick Out the Rings Together

Traditionally, the man had to spend time trying to figure out exactly what type of engagement ring his future fiance wanted, gauge by himself if it should be a diamond or other alternative, and figure out the size of not only the rock, but her ring finger. Although some women might still enjoy the element of surprise, I don’t think too many would object to having a bit more input. In fact, it is becoming more and more normal to simply show your significant other exactly what you want. This way, there’s no guessing and no disappointment.

There are also tons of more options in regards to the types of rings that are available. For a while, a solitaire ring with a yellow gold band was the go-to style of engagement rings. Today, there are not only tons of new styles to choose from, but there are diamond alternatives that are just as, if not more, appealing. The main option being lab made diamonds. Not only do they have the same chemical makeup as a mined diamond, but they tend to save you quite a bit of money, often coming in at 20-30% less expensive.

Split All Costs

Imagine if your dad had four daughters and your fiance was an only child. The breakdown of wedding costs would seem a bit misplaced. And that’s if you’re sticking to the tradition of having your parents help pay for the wedding. Instead of trying to decide who pays for what, why not just split everything down the middle or pay for every together. That’s how all costs will be moving forward, so why not start on the day married life becomes official? If your parents are helping you out, then maybe talk to them about this idea as well.

Wear The Color Your Want

Who says you have to wear a white dress on your wedding day?! Although the tradition seems dreamy to some people, it’s painful and unnecessary to others. Stay true to who you are and wear something that represents your personal style. This is, arguably, one of the biggest days of your life. You shouldn’t feel pressured to wear a certain color just because it’s “the way it has always been.” Find a dress that you’ll look back at and still want to put on fifty years from now. 

Let Your Bridesmaids Have a Say

Let’s face it. It’s extremely hard, if not impossible to find one single bridesmaid dress that will look good on every single one of your bridesmaids. Instead of torturing them just so you can have uniformity, let them choose a style that fits their body type and that they feel great in! A common trend at the moment is to pick a color palette and maybe even a store where you want them to purchase the dress (so that all the materials match). Then, give them free range on the style they get to choose. This will make them feel much more comfortable, which will ultimately show through in your wedding day photos and videos.

Have Food You Enjoy

Chicken or beef? How about tacos or pizza? Donuts or ice cream? One of the worst wedding traditions is the buffet-style menu that you’ve eaten five times already that wedding season. Why not mix it up and get a variety of foods that your guests will absolutely love? Find a unique caterer that offers a menu you’ve never seen before. Or have a few food trucks come and let your guests decide what they’ll be eating for dinner. The meal is often one of the most expensive parts of a wedding. And for what? Partially cold chicken and a scoop of mashed potatoes? It’s your day. Enjoy it to the fullest.

Some wedding traditions can be great. And for many, a traditional wedding is one they’ve always dreamed of. But by no means are they necessary for everyone. If you’re searching for a modern wedding, take these five recommendations into consideration during your planning.